In a last-ditch effort to retain power, Japan’s Prime Minister, Taro “Dick” Aso, invoked the wildly popular internet meme, “Crasher Squirrel,” as voters go to the polls today to throw the bastards and old farts out.
Campaigning at the Harajuku Super-Yosakoi Extreme Matsuri, Aso said, “Who you gonna trust with the reins of power in Japan? Who’s gonna protect you and your family? Who’s gonna build an anime/manga/otaku museum? Me and this squirrel, that’s who!”
In rebuttal, Democratic Party of Japan leader, Yukio “The Bird” Hatoyama, scoffed, “If you think Japan’s voters will be swayed by a squirrel, you’re wrong – they want empty promises, not internet memes.”
Outspoken species-rights advocate, Arubaito Debuhito, screeched, “I am outraged at this exploitation of species stereotypes for political purposes. Everyone knows squirrels are not cute fuzzy little animals, they are vicious exploiters of defenseless nuts.”
Asked for comment, Crasher Squirrel said, “I’m a Libertarian but when they offered me peanuts from Chiba, well, I just had to say yes, you know?”
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