Microsoft’s new operating system, Windows 7, is a hit in Japan, especially for its demonstrated ability to not work during live demos.
At the official Windows 7 launch event, Ultraman 7, beloved costumed monster-fighter, failed to make the touchscreen function work as advertised to enthusiastic cheers from the audience of paid volunteer fan boys.
Aoi Sukurinobudesu, Microsoft spokesperson, commented, “Consumers told us they wanted features that don’t work right out of the box. And we gave it to them right up the wazoo.”
S.C. Johnson, maker of Windex®, projects a sharp increase in revenues due to Windows 7, “We forecast record demand for glass cleaners, especially from those guys eating Windows 7 Whoppers. We see millions of touchscreens with greasy fingerprint smudges as a good thing for the American economy.”
When asked for comment, Tux, the Linux Penguin, scoffed, “Who needs touchscreen? Real geeks use the command line. Plus, I have flippers, not fingers.”
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In other news, more than half of Japanese people haven’t read a book in the past month reported Yomiuri Shimbun, a newspaper that 97% of the respondents haven’t read in the past year.
