Posted via email from invisiblegaijin
November 2009
Kodomo Tencho, the star of Toyota’s TV commercials, stunned the Japanese geinoukai entertainment world by admitting he was gay.
Honnie’s Himusho, the leading no-talent talento agency in Japan, issued a statement, “Honnie is shocked, shocked to find that gayness is going on in here.”
“We deny any knowledge of Kodomo Tencho’s gayness,” stated Toyota PR spokeswoman, Perky Oppai, “We just thought he liked wearing brightly colored red jackets and black shorts.”
“Toyota also denies any connection with his gayness and the recall of more than 4 million cars,” continued Oppai, “That was caused by demonically possessed floor mats.”
“I’m gay,” said Kodomo Tencho with a beatific smile, “I’m light-hearted and carefree!”
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In other news, Glenn Beck announced he’s challenging Japan’s Emperor Akihito to a Sumo death match, bellowing, “I may throw salt but I will never bow.”
Posted via email from invisiblegaijin
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Posted via email from invisiblegaijin
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Fashionable young men in Tokyo are bleaching their hair to match their fur collars this season.
“Man-Skirts? That’s so last month,” scoffed Boi Parasaito, “real men wear their hair to match the fur collar on their jackets. Unless they’re @tamegoeswild, in which case they wear Man-Tights.”
When asked for comment about Man-Tights, @tamegoeswild twittered, “They make you look like this http://bit.ly/8Mi0ht , which is unfortunate, but they’re worth it because they make you all warm and secure.”
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In other news, @invisiblegaijin had to cut this post short because @doramimy tweeted she was hungry. Such a modern couple.
Posted via email from invisiblegaijin
