Sake brewed in the pouches of kangaroos is a hit product in Japan, especially among young females who will buy anything if it is sufficiently kawaii and gets them drunk.
“Redolent of marsupial sweat, the aroma has fine back tones of eucalyptus-infused Koala dung,” said self-professed sake aficionado Nanimo Shiranai, “a perfect complement to three-day-old uni sea urchin roe or a fine aged kusaya appetizer.”
Packaged in the traditional 1.8 liter “tall boy” as well as the convenient 750ml “short pecker,” each bottle of Kangaroo Sake is signed by the kangaroo who brewed the sake in their pouch.
“We are pleased that the symbol of Australia is popular in Japan,” commented Australian Trade Commissioner, Gudonya Maite, “but we believe Japanese consumers should also try drinking Australian beers, commonly known as ‘roo piss’ down under.”
Kanga, the lovable kangaroo mother character from Winnie the Pooh, angrily decried the practice of brewing sake in kangaroo pouches, “Horrid! Why would anyone do that? Why not distill shochu in Koala pouches?!”
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In other news, Tiger Woods denied rumors that his “transgressions” included cuddling with Toyota pitchboy Kodomo Tencho, who recently admitted he was “gay.”
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