The Wrath of Kan: Vote for Me, I’ll Tax Your Ass Off

July 1, 2010 9:25 am
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Tokyo (IG News) — Japan’s prime minister Naoto “Yes We” Kan promised today to “tax the ass off the Japanese people.”

“The Japanese people’s asses are getting too big, like Beyoncé big,” said the slim-hipped, flat-assed Kan, “increasing taxes means they’ll lose weight by working even harder for less returns.”

Asked about the morality of increasing taxes when the average politician’s income is five times that of the average Japanese household, Kan replied, “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche.”

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In other news, Mino Monta’s mom apologized to the Japanese people “for my son being such a dick.”

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