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On the Shanghai Metro, Wang Xiaodidi is reminded his sister Shangnu never ever shared her chips with him.

 

 

 

 

 

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Screen Shot 2013-03-09 at 11.48.55 AMPYONGYANG, North Korea (IG News) — Kim Jong-Eun ordered the execution of Jag-Eun Eumgyeong, North Korea’s top military commander, according to anonymous sources.

“The debate whether ‘size matters’ all started out in good fun,” said a high-level government official, who requested anonymity to avoid being turned into kimchee, “but the Supreme Leader was not amused by the general’s assertion.”

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In other news, Keanu Reeves’ upcoming film “47 Ronin” now titled “46 Ronin and a Gaijin.”

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Teeny_Weenie_Bear_IMG_1720SHANGHAI (IG News) — A genitally-challenged bear’s coming out of the closet may have opened a path for China and Japan to resolve a territorial dispute.

“People are often surprised that I’m of average height,” Teenie Weenie Bear explained, “People just forget that, without a hyphen, Teenie modifies Weenie.”

“This is who I am and I’m proud of it,” said Teenie Weenie Bear, “My friend Ginormous Weenie Bear can’t fit into this fabulous AKB-48 tartan check skirt! Now that’s a tragedy.”

The impact of Teenie Weenie Bear’s coming out has created hope for a peaceful resolution to the territorial dispute between China and Japan.

Hu “Me?” Jintao, president of China, and Shinzo “Honest” Abe, prime minister of Japan, declared in a joint communique, “Our nations may disagree over the Sanrio Islands but we agree our Weenies are Teenie.”

US president Barrack Obama welcomed the news, stating “While we take no position on the territorial dispute, we stand united with China and Japan in having Teenie Weenies.”

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In other news, Chinese football fans missed Superbowl Sunday because in China it was Monday.

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On the Shanghai Metro, Wang Xiaodidi accepts that the bloom of her youth has faded but, thank Mao, she still has her hair.

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In other news, the world ends, Mayan gods take rifles from millions of Americans’ cold, dead hands.

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Japan Ups Ante in Island Dispute

December 13, 2012

  BAKABAKASHII, Japan (IG News) – Japan stunned the world today by conducting joint exercises with Godzilla near the  disputed Sanrio island chain, known popularly as “Hello Kitty” in Japan and “Nihao Xiao Mao” in China. “These islands belong to the world and must be used for the benefit of all people,” said the king of [...]

Revenge of the LOL Catz

December 7, 2012

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“Hello Kitty Belongs to China!”

November 24, 2012

TING BUDONG, China (IG News) — Classified satellite imagery obtained by IG News suggests China may be preparing for military action over the disputed Sanrio island chain, known as “Hello Kitty” in Japan and “Nihao Xiao Mao” in China. The IG News exclusive photo above shows what appear to be genetically modified midget soldiers in [...]

How to End Your Career in the Communist Party of China

November 23, 2012

Reaching the pinnacle of his career in the Communist Party of China, Wang Xiaodidi makes a fatal error.   Tweet Related Posts:Ugg-Li Boots Are Big in ChinaPool-Peeing Season Starts in JapanHot Summer Fashions in ChinaIn which InvisibleGaijin proves Mao’s maxim “Laughter grows out of the barrel of a machine gun.”Trend Spotted: Beijing Girls are the [...]

Aliens Are Among Us

November 18, 2012

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North Korea: “Thumbs Off for Dear Comrade!”

January 3, 2012

(Photo Credit: Korean Central News Agency) PYONGYANG, North Korea (IG News) — The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea called upon the people of North Korea to “give up their thumbs for Supreme Leader Lil’ Kim Jong Un.” “To be thumbless is glorious,“ said Pabo Ya, supreme general spokesperson of the Korean People’s Malnutrition Corps, “only [...]

Ugg-Li Boots Are Big in China

December 5, 2011

BEIJING (IG News) — Millions of young Chinese women are clamoring to wear Ugg-Li boots, this season’s hottest fashion trend. “I love my Ugg-Li boots, they’re so cool, they’re hot,” said noted Beijing fashionista, Feicheng Buhao, “I predict this will be hotter than bowl cut bangs and eyeglasses with no lenses!” Ugg-Li, a joint venture [...]

Zombie Party of China Elects New Leader

July 10, 2011

(Photo Credit: China Daily) BEIJING, China (IG News) — The Zombie Party of China (ZPC) elected today Jiang Zemin as its general secretary and president. “Death is wasted on the dead,” proclaimed Jiang to cheers from millions of zombies gathered at the Wangfujing McDonalds, “and reports of my death are greatly exaggerated with Chinese characteristics.” [...]

In Which IG Meets a Mysterious Maid who “Tastes Like Fresh Milk”

July 6, 2011

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The Glamor of Business Travel

July 4, 2011

I think they’re trying to tell me something! Vietnam Airlines Business (Cl)ass Lounge, Hanoi Airport. ### Tweet Related Posts:In Which IG Meets a Mysterious Maid who “Tastes Like Fresh Milk”IG Nature News: When aroused, the meerkat stands erect …In which InvisibleGaijin proves Mao’s maxim “Laughter grows out of the barrel of a machine gun.”US Loses [...]