Reaching the pinnacle of his career in the Communist Party of China, Wang Xiaodidi makes a fatal error.
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fashion
BEIJING (IG News) — Millions of young Chinese women are clamoring to wear Ugg-Li boots, this season’s hottest fashion trend.
“I love my Ugg-Li boots, they’re so cool, they’re hot,” said noted Beijing fashionista, Feicheng Buhao, “I predict this will be hotter than bowl cut bangs and eyeglasses with no lenses!”
Ugg-Li, a joint venture of Australia’s Ugg Boots Pty Ltd and China’s Gei Li Enterprises, launched the boots when a miscommunication resulted in the original Ugg design being manufactured inside-out.
“When life hands you wombats, make koalas, as we say down under,” commented Pavlova Lammington, chief designer at Ugg, “Ugg-Li boots are today’s to-die-for fashion item.”
“Next, we will launch in world markets,” said Gei Li CEO Dadong Kaoya, “Ugg-Li boots are going to be the next big Chinese export following the global success of ‘made by China’ high-speed rail controllers!”
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In other news, Air China announced today “the probability of interesting in-flight video is inversely proportional to the length of delay before boarding.”
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XI’AN, China (IG Fashion News) — The hottest fashion trend this summer in China is big white bloomers visible beneath a pink gingham sundress, complemented by pink Converse All-Stars.
“This look captures the innocence and awkwardness of youth,” proclaimed Niubi NiuB, head designer of Xi’an Tang, “and combined with a knock-kneed walk, this look is guaranteed to bring middle-aged men to their knees.”
“I like the way old guys start drooling when they pretend not to be looking,” giggled Xi’an middle schooler Xiao Lola, “it’s simultaneously cute and pathetic!”
In other fashion news, the “show off your beer belly” look remains the standard for Chinese men.
“Nothing says success like a big buddha belly proudly thrust out for all to see,” commented fashion commentator Ting Budong, “the classics never go out of style.”
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In other news, the people want to know, “does baby shampoo ever grow up?”
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BEIJING, China (IG Fashion News) — Spotted: this season’s hot new look: bulky down jacket with fur-lined hood, straight brown hair parted down the center, and face masks – black or faux-Burberry. Fluorescent fuchsia foxtail accessory and fur-fringed cuffs for those who live life on the edge.
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(Photo: InvisibleGaijin)TOKYO (IG) — The Guilty Parties Outrageous of El Rocker fashion police arrested two old farts for dressing way out of fashion in the fashionable Omotesando district of Tokyo.
“Let me be clear: old farts must observe the law unless their mommies make illegal political contributions,” commented Prime Minister Yukio “Bird” Hatoyama, “and I still can’t believe that Mao-chan lost the gold to that bitch Kim Yu-na!”
“Old farts should know better than to wear a red parka with jeans this season,” sniffed arresting officer Nattoku Dekinai, “and that backpack is so 1970s!”
Onara “Cho” Kusai, a 75 year-old retiree from Saitama, who was arrested on charges of wearing a blazer and jeans, cried 「だって、埼玉！」as he was led off to jail.
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In other news, Japanese politicians take the Diesel “Be Stupid” advertising campaign to heart every day.
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