parody

North Korea: “Thumbs Off for Dear Comrade!”

January 3, 2012 18:05 pm
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(Photo Credit: Korean Central News Agency)

PYONGYANG, North Korea (IG News) — The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea called upon the people of North Korea to “give up their thumbs for Supreme Leader Lil’ Kim Jong Un.”

“To be thumbless is glorious,“ said Pabo Ya, supreme general spokesperson of the Korean People’s Malnutrition Corps, “only wicked foreigners need opposable digits.”

“I’d give up anything to be a human bulwark or human shield,” gushed Juleum Popi, captain of the synchronized starvation club at the Kim Song-Il School for Young Revolutionaries, “then play in the Socialist Fairyland!”

“I support Lil’ Kim all the way,” said former United States Senator Richard John “Rick” Santorum, “the North Koreans really know how to prevent thumb-on-thumb sex.”

“Supreme Leader? I don’t think so, that would be me,” commented singer Diana Ross, “Set me free, why don’t you babe?”

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In other news, Lil’ Kim Jong Un announced his 2012 new year resolutions: (1) lose weight, (2) trade nukes for food, and (3) guest star on Glee.

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Tagged as: Democratic People's Republic of Korea, humor, Kim Jong Un, North Korea, parody, satire, sexy girls, thumbless

Kanji of the Year 2011: “Bakayaro”

December 18, 2011 11:43 am
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(Photo credit: Mainichi)

KYOTO, Japan (IG News) — Chahan Omori, chief priest of Yogoremizu Temple in Kyoto’s Higashi-Sonomamayama Ward, writes the kanji character for “bakayaro” (“TEPCO bites the big one”), which was chosen as the kanji character of the year, during an annual ceremony at the temple on Dec. 12.

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In other news, @TEPCO_CEO denies rumors that dangerous levels of rice have been discovered in TEPCO cesium.

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Tagged as: japan, kanji, Kyoto, parody, satire

Zombie Party of China Elects New Leader

July 10, 2011 11:08 am
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(Photo Credit: China Daily)

BEIJING, China (IG News) — The Zombie Party of China (ZPC) elected today Jiang Zemin as its general secretary and president.

“Death is wasted on the dead,” proclaimed Jiang to cheers from millions of zombies gathered at the Wangfujing McDonalds, “and reports of my death are greatly exaggerated with Chinese characteristics.”

Popularly known as “Uncle Jiangshi,” Jiang explained the ZPC’s political vision, “Reviewing the course of zombie struggle and the basic experience over the past 80 years and looking ahead to the arduous tasks and bright future in the new century, our Party should continue to stand in the forefront of the times and lead the zombie in marching toward victory. In a word, the Party must always represent the requirements of the development of China’s advanced zombie productive forces, the orientation of the development of China’s advanced zombie culture, and the fundamental interests of the overwhelming majority of the zombie in China.”

ZPC spokesperson Ting Budong declined to comment on rumors of that Ichiro Ozawa and Yukio Hatoyama were planning to launch the Zombie Party of Japan (ZPJ).

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In other news, Japan upsets Germany at Women’s World Cup but both countries pledge to “remain BFF.”

 

 

 

 

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Tagged as: Beijing, china, Jiang Zemin, parody, satire, zombies

Pool-Peeing Season Starts in Japan

July 9, 2011 12:10 pm
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(Photo Credit: Mainichi)

TACHI-SHOMBEN, Japan (IG News) — Millions of children squealed with delight as the Japanese pool-peeing season kicked off today across the nation.

“Ah, kimochiii!,” exclaimed elementary school student Oshikko Daisuki, “Ain’t nothing like the first pee of the season! I’ve been holding back for a week!”

The Japanese tradition of peeing in pools began in the Heian period (794 to 1185), as noted in Murasaki Shikibu’s classic novel, The Tale of Genji.

“Oh, Prince Genji, your honorable urination is redolent of wisteria blossoms wafting down from the heavens, and indeed its warmth is that of the early morning sun!”

Officials at TEPCO, operator of the containment-challenged Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant, denied allegations that American-made robots were peeing in pools used to cool spent fuel rods.

“Categorically untrue,” said TEPCO spokesperson Perky Oppai, “we have elderly volunteers who do that.”

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In other news, former China president Jiang Zemin announced today, “Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated with Chinese characteristics.”

 

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Tagged as: humor, japan, joke, parody, satire

Psychic Dog in Japan Baffles Scientists

June 25, 2011 20:41 pm
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(Photo Credit: Mainichi)

OMOSHIROKUNEI, Japan (IG News) — Scientists are unable to explain the psychic abilities of Bibi, a beagle living in a rural area of Japan, who predicted “multiple core meltdowns, corporate coverups, and incompetent emergency response” a month before the Fukushima nuclear event.

“Prime Minister Naoto Kan’s cabinet will not last another 90 days,” panted Bibi through her owner, noted natto sculptor Inchiki Kana, who has mind-melded with the dog since it was a puppy, “and you will feed me using a red plastic bowl, then take me for a walk.”

“We are at a loss to explain how a beagle can predict the future with such astounding accuracy,” said Kekko Kamaboko, chief scientist at TEPCO, “she’s more accurate than our reactor meltdown simulations!”

“Ichiro Ozawa won’t go to jail,” woofed Bibi, “and Sarah Palin won’t win the presidency, just split the anti-Obama vote.”

When asked about the future of humanity, Bibi howled mournfully, “You are all going to die, leaving only regrets over unrealized ambition.”

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In other news, New York passes gay marriage law, requires all marriages to be “happy and carefree.”

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Tagged as: humor, japan, natto, parody, psychic dog

Doraemon Confesses “I Tweeted My Ear Bulges”

June 11, 2011

(Photo Credit: @doramimy) TOKYO, Japan (IG News) – Doraemon, beloved robotic cat from the future, confessed today, “I have ears, I have always had ears, and I regret hiding my ears for all these years.” New York Times reporter Hiroko Tabuchi broke the story while investigating rumors Doraemon allegedly used Twitter to send photos of [...]

Tagged as: humor, japan, parody, satire

Hot Summer Fashions in China

May 30, 2011

XI’AN, China (IG Fashion News) — The hottest fashion trend this summer in China is big white bloomers visible beneath a pink gingham sundress, complemented by pink Converse All-Stars. “This look captures the innocence and awkwardness of youth,” proclaimed Niubi NiuB, head designer of Xi’an Tang, “and combined with a knock-kneed walk, this look is [...]

Tagged as: china, converse, fashion, humor, parody, pink, sundress

In which InvisibleGaijin proves Mao’s maxim “Laughter grows out of the barrel of a machine gun.”

March 6, 2011

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Tagged as: Beijing, china, funny, humor, joke, laowai, parody

Tokyo Sky Tree Radiation Causes Mutation in Japanese Children

March 6, 2011

TOKYO (IG News) — Japanese government officials announced today that electromagnetic radiation from the newly opened Tokyo Sky Tree causes Japanese children to mutate into intolerably cute mascots. “The Japanese people love ‘cute’ and will forgive this egregious waste of taxpayer monies,” scoffed Tokyo Governor Chintaro “Twitchy” Ishipara, “only third-country people will be disappointed the [...]

Tagged as: cute, humor, japan, kawaii, mutation, parody, radiation, satire, Sky Tree, tokyo

Trend Spotted: Beijing Girls are the New Harajuku Girls

February 5, 2011

BEIJING, China (IG Fashion News) — Spotted: this season’s hot new look: bulky down jacket with fur-lined hood, straight brown hair parted down the center, and face masks – black or faux-Burberry. Fluorescent fuchsia foxtail accessory and fur-fringed cuffs for those who live life on the edge. # # # Related Posts:Hot Summer Fashions in [...]

Tagged as: Beijing, china, fashion, humor, parody, trend

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