Anomalies in the Flow of Life // In Beijing
1. My Japanese vocabulary has expanded なう
2. I tweet before I eat
3. I get the news before it’s on the news
4. I’ve mastered Japanese emoticons \(*v*)/
5. Twitter is my new procrastination
6. My attention span is 0.5 seconds
7. I found my voice – still boring but I found it
8. I have a cool short URL: bite.me
9. I have lots of anti-social friends
10. I can say shit in 140 characters or less
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In other news, NHK cancels live sumo broadcast, shows dead sumo instead.
Twitter to add new feature, “Lisps,” where “th” is automatically added to all tweets.
Posted via email from invisiblegaijin
Tarao “Tara-chan” Fuguta, the six-year-old boy feared to be aboard a flyaway dorayaki-shaped balloon, was found safe hiding in the attic of the Isono family home in the Asahigaoka area of Tokyo.
The tale of the “balloon boy” captivated and titillated Japanese audiences on an otherwise slow news day when no talento were arrested for drugs, naked dancing, or criminal lack of talent.
“Tara-chan,” one of the stars of the reality TV show, “Sazae-san,” got sick twice after blurting out “you said we did it for a show!” to his father, Masuo-niisan, when grilled by Tamori on a live broadcast of “Waratte Ii Tomo.”
The balloon boy’s mother, Sazae “Sazae-san” Fuguta, has confessed to the hoax, saying, “The network blames the show’s falling ratings on my sagging cartoon boobs. Even Masuo-niisan doesn’t want me like he used to. I was desperate for attention.”
The saga ended when the balloon crashed at Saga Airport and rescuers were shocked to find in the wreckage, not a little boy, but Crasher Squirrel, the long-forgotten internet meme, who commented, “This story should be about me, me, ME – I’m an internet meme, ha-hah-HAH!”
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In other news, fashion magazine Pinky announced it would suspend publication at yearend, stating, “Young women just aren’t interested in little fingers anymore.”
Tokyo.JapanTimes
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